The Flvxxvm Florvm Lyrics Page

"I mean, how many times can a guy talk with a distorted vocal over the fuckin' music?"
Vinnie Paul of Pantera
Listen to Flvxxvm Florvm Now!

Save this button and stick it on your homepage to show how cool you are!

The complete archive of Flvxxvm Florvm MP3 files (and also guitar TAB for some songs) can now be downloaded from the following locations. This is a copy of a CD that I originally burned for the purpose of donating to the Mallet Assembly library.

The remainder of this page is rarely updated, so proceed at your own risk.

Flvxxvm Florvm is a band, the only member of which is me, Jeff Robertson. I consider it to be a band because all the songs I record as Flvxxvm Florvm have certain common threads running through them, which are not shared with the music I make as just plain old Jeff Robertson music. Besides, there could be hundreds of Jeff Robertsons out there (at least one of whom also has a band), so I need a stage name.

I am not currently recording new music under the Flvxxvm Florvm name. This is partly because I no longer have time, and partly because I don't want Flvxxvm Florvm to take any more time away other musical efforts. Flvxxvm Florvm was supposed to be a kind of joke, not my life.

None of Flvxxvm Florvm's songs are meant to be taken seriously. The whole thing is one fat hunk of musical and lyrical sarcasm, parody, and toungue-in-cheek commentary, with or without deeper meaning and/or significance.

I'm not going into a lengthy discussion of my musical influences in such an inappropriate place. However, the following is a list of some of the major social factors leading up to the existence of Flvxxvm Florvm.

Note that there are no bands in this list. If I put one band in, I'd have to put them all. There are some bands listed in the fake page below, but I don't even listen to everything the fake page talks about, and there are all kinds of things that I like that aren't mentioned there. Thats why its fake.

Earlier in the existence of Flvxxvm Florvm, I thought it would be a good idea to make up fake band members and come up with fake biographies of them, but more recently I decided that would just be too much work. Here's a little taste of what it would be like, though.

Click here for notes about the origins and recording of various Flvxxvm Florvm songs. Newer songs aren't included here yet.

This page contains lyrics for Flvxxvm Florvm releases which are available on my personal "label", Evil Grinn Records. Please direct any inquiries about how to get these tapes to jeff_robertson@yahoo.com.

Lyrics:

The Flvxxvm Florvm Sampler , Volumes I and II

A tape that contains Flvxxvm Florvm songs from 1992-1996, the bad along with the good. Are these lost musical gems, or just so much immature drivel? You decide.
  • Rock and Roll Aliens
  • Can't Believe
  • Blood and Guts
  • Neighbors' Kid
  • Ain't Got a Woman
  • Knock Me Flat
  • The City is Dead
  • You Used to Be Mine
  • At Your Mercy
  • Sacred
  • Junker's Rebellion
  • (I'm not a) Scumbag
  • What'd I Do?
  • Gimme Whatcha Got
  • The Way I See It
  • Your Name Goes Here
  • No Use For Girls
  • Another Man's Treasure
  • Take it Off, Suzie!
  • Canonical Girl
  • This is How it Feels
  • Flame Thrower of Love
  • Renegade Robots
  • Down in the Dungeon

Flvxxvm Florvm Ate My Balls

Recorded during the second half of 1996 and the first half of 1997. At this point I would like to stop to say that most of this album was written in Mallet Assembly, the happiest place on earth.
  • Everybody Calls Me Flapjack
  • Are The Fish High Yet?
  • Friendly Martians, Julie
  • The Vacant Lot
  • The Grooviest Girl in the U.S.A.
  • Florence
  • Peggy, You Make Me Horny
  • Evil Girl
  • Blear
  • Broken Man
  • Powercow
  • And I Hit Her

    • Flvxxvm Florvm is the Devil

    Side one was recorded very quickly in the final weeks of 1997. Side two is a miscellaneous collection of me jamming with various friends, weird noises, and other stuff that isn't strictly Flvxxvm Florvm but I threw on for the hell of it.
    • Invasion: Earth!
    • I am A Sexual Being
    • F*ckin' all the Time
    • Unclean
    • The Label
    • So Beautiful I Cried
    • You're SO High Now
    • I'm not White
    • You're Gonna Hurt Somebody
    • Falling Apart
    • Cubic Jam
    • Norfolk Southern Blues
    • O Jasmine (by Will Richardson)
    • Ode to Joyce
    • Tinkle
    • Somnambulence

    Flvxxvm Florvm is Dead

    Probably the last new Flvxxvm Florvm album. These lyrics have liner notes embedded in them.
    • Extravaganza
    • So Beat Down
    • Right There
    • All You Insects
    • Just an Idiot
    • I've got the Girl
    • Goddamn Thing
    • Hidden Tracks

    Down the Line

    The long-buried remains of an album that I started around 1995 and never finished. Some of the songs that would've gone on here wound up on Flvxxvm Florvm Sampler vol II instead. Others wound up on Flvxxvm Florvm Ate My Balls. These are the songs left over, some of which are extreme demo quality.
    • Get the Hell Out of My Way
    • String
    • I Opened My Eyes
    • They Way You Play Guitar
    • Children of the Atom
    • Will He Love You When You Fall?
    • Just Keep on Dreaming (Andrea)
    • It Won't be Love This Time
    • Trail of Fears
    • Down the Line

    Private Universe: The Flvxxvm Florvm Mixtape

    Neither a "greatest hits" nor a "best of", just a smattering of songs from other tapes.
    • Rock and Roll Aliens
    • Blood and Guts
    • Neighbor's Kid
    • Friendly Martians, Julie
    • The Vacant Lot
    • You're So High Now
    • Renegade Robotos
    • Canonical Girl
    • Take it Off, Suzie
    • Fuckin' All the Time
    • Broken Man

    Other

    The follwing tapes are not currently available, and may never have existed at all. I'm listing them here so you can look at the titles and wonder what they must have been like.